A Fresh Start

I’ve struggled with Depression ever since High School, but my Depression spiked when I went away to college. With the Depression came my overwhelming sense of Social Anxiety. Last Spring semester I withdrew from school due to this. I spent all last summer working two jobs as working on myself. Before returning back to school in the Fall, my best friend moved in with me. I was so excited because who doesn’t want to live in an apartment with their best friend right? I also was prescribed Proxac to help with my symptoms. I was ready for the semester to start, I felt that I had things under control.

With every medication there is a grace period in which your body adjusts to it and some side effects may occur. The Proxac was not my friend however. It completely changed my personality. I had no filter, was insanely irritable, and was angry all the time. Being angry all the time was really hard for me since I’ve never been one to get angry. Sure I’ve been upset and even mad, but never to the state of steam out of my ears angry. I would get angry for no reason and it was like I couldn’t turn it off. My roommate would sigh or something and that would set me off. It was an intense couple of months. I was advised to stop taking the medicine and did so. I’m not in anyway bad mouthing this medicine, just simply saying that it didn’t work for me and I know it works for others and for that I’m glad!

Eventually everything went to how it was before, which included the Depression and Anxiety. Things began to get tough again and I had to get a third job to help pay my bills.  Trying to balance three jobs, cheer, and go to school full time was too much and I feared I was going to return back to my old ways by hurting myself. I met with my student adviser and talked to my family and decided I needed to take some time to work on myself and catch up on my bills. So I moved in with my Dad. I’ve been here for about a month now and I have a job. I’m becoming really depressed again though. I don’t do anything besides work and stay in my room and hangout with my cat. I’m trying really hard not to let it get me down, any suggestions?

Thanks for reading this lengthy post!

Ya’ll are amazing,

Cecilia Marlena



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